It is with a great sense of pride and accomplishment that I announce the end of this column. The dispensation of my wisdom and sage advice has finally resulted in the Solving Of All Problems, and my work here is now done.
I have been called back to my home dimension by the Failure Lords to undergo regeneration, a process in which every few years my body is replaced with a slightly older and weaker version of itself. Now that I think about it, regeneration may not be the best term for this procedure, a matter I may need to bring up with the High Council.
In any event, I thank my valued readers for their time and attention. Hopefully, I will be able to come up with a new project which will allow me at a future date to once again benefit mankind through the use of my particular and mostly useless talents.
Until then, may The Great Cosmic Shoe crush us all.